B E A N S N A P S: FAULTY TOWERS

We are moving house. This house is a-crumblin'! After a year and a half of putting up with the WORST AGENCY IN THE WORLD! (Joseph Alexander) we have decided to throw in the towel and admit defeat..we can't take it anymore. There is a huge list of problems we've had with them over the time that i won't bother going into now. The last straw was when my ceiling caved in a few weeks back after the flash flood we had.

***ha! i've just this minute had another group of poor prospective tennants pop in for a snoop round, they seem keen, most of them have been. They may have read this, that would be funny, i was downstairs. Most have asked what the landlord/agency is/are like? It's been great watching the guys from Joseph Alexander sqerm while i pause before laying into them..ha! revenge! One of the slimeballs just told me that two groups are battling to sign the papers today. Good luck to them.***

Anyway, back to my ceiling.. After the heavy rain i came back home to find my ceiling leaking in about 5/6 different places. The photos don't do it justice cos they were taken a few hours after the worst of it. The water was shooting down like out of a jet hose or something. I rang J.A straight away, it took them 4 days for them to come round to fix the damage!! I don't remember this (still drunk) but while on the phone to the council i went a little mad and hyper and told them my plans for J.A, one of which included digging up Jeremy Beadle (RIP) and posting him through the J.A office letterbox. Because none of us were man enough, one of our Dads drove round, got on the roof and unblocked the gutter for us. This would stop the leaking. When one of their 'specialists' did arrive he walked into my room and said 'oooh' , did nothing, and after i questioned the safety of the room and the strength of the ceiling, he told me "ahh it'll be fine, there's NO WAY the ceiling will cave in". Yep...

I'm not exaggerating in saying i could have died that night!! Well maybe a little exaggeration but i would have been knocked out if i had been in bed that night, luckly i was out (walking back to my friends..the same night we nearly got run down by a joyrider in 'ghost car' that appeared from nowhere and swerved straight at us). Cheated death twice! Of course J.A were'nt interested in this, why should they be? I spent the next week on the floor downstairs scared that the rest of the ceiling was about to crumble. The 'specialist' returned under J.A's instruction with a bit of wood and nailed it above the hole..job done! Nice work J.A! Turns out it was gonna be a 3 week wait til the rest of the room was gonna get fixed, so we handed our notice in. We havn't got anywhere lined up and could be homeless in 4 weeks but at least we will leave on a high... after some great detective work by my two housemates we tracked down our most hated member of the J.A team on Facebook. Then it got REALLY interesting! We thought we'd 'poke' her to wind her up (like some people do on FB), well turns out being poked is just what she likes. We couldn't believe what we stumbled across! I won't say much more, you maybe able to guess what her other job is..it's not a paper round. The other two (while eating PICKLED ONIONS!?) contiuned to delve into her seedy world while i went out. They're already planning the 'Carry On' style double entendres for when we drop the keys back to the office next month.